Lessons in marriage

A friend posted a link to a blog I want to share with you. It’s very insightful.

I know for us, it took the first year to work out the kinks. I am not really sure why they call it the honeymoon phase of marriage. The honeymoon wasn’t a year, maybe two weeks. Now don’t get me wrong, we are two peas in a pod, but when you get to mixing two lives into one, you are making waves on a once nice, tranquil little pond. After three years of marriage and reading these words of wisdom from some ladies, I can get a grasp of what 60 years of marriage should look like…. and how to get there.

Read the blog here!

My favorites:

When there’s trouble, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you or with him or something wrong with your family or his–it’s because God made you different than each other.— AMEN!

Marriage is for sanctification.— If we all took this seriously we would look a lot more like Christ, dont you think?

Remember that all marriages are cross-cultural.— We may have grown up an hour from each other, but it couldve been different countries.

Keep pursuing each other and learning each other.— This will probably be even more true in 10 years.


I hope you enjoyed that quick read as much as I did. I may have to write some of these on sticky notes and post them on our bathroom mirror.


My One Word— Care

I picked my word for 2011…. Care

If you have no idea what I’m talking about…. click here!

In order to pick a word, we search ourselves: What kind of person do I want to be at the end of the year? What sin pattern can I just not shake? After exhausting a pretty good list of things I need to “fix” this year, I narrowed it down to one category to pick my word.

If you don’t know me, like really know me, this may come as a surprise (or not). Mercy is not one of my spiritual gifts.

I have always written off that I was just born this way. I am the queen of giving out reality checks, which doesn’t really get me too far in the “gentle and quiet spirit” category. 1 Peter 3 :4

For this year, I don’t want to just be more merciful. I want to learn to love people like God loves them. I thought about the word, love.  I don’t just want to love though. I would fail at this one because I can never love like God does.  I wanted to better express the love I am capable of expressing. It’s one thing to say that you love someone or love others. It calls you to action when you are going to care for someone or others. You have to love them. You have to show them mercy. You have to be unconditional.

Saying that I’m just not merciful or caring and writing it off as the way I am is wrong. That’s how I am in the flesh. Jesus overcame the flesh so I don’t have to just be this way. His Spirit that lives in me CAN and WILL take hold of me and transform me to be more like Him. I am not allowed to give myself a free pass on this any longer. Galatians 5:13-26

Ironically, this word was bouncing around my mind before the message at church on Sunday. Who am I kidding… ironically? No, God knew what He was doing. Mike, our pastor, challenged us that our life change is not meant to make us a better person, but to impact the city where you are planted. Care for the people of this city!

Care is a pretty big word too. If I really put forth the effort into this word this year, it will affect many areas in my life.

My marriage: I want to care for my husband. Not just take care of him when he’s sick, but really care. Care about his feelings, wants and needs. Care about his day, even if I think mine has been worse. Care for his thoughts. Care and lift him up in prayer.

My little monster: I want to take care of my child. Again, not just feed him and clean up after him. I want to care for his growing and developing little mind. Care for the things I do now that will start patterns for how he will be later. Care about being a better mom and him being a well-rounded adult. Care for his personality. Care about his salvation.

My circle of influence: I have good friends and family. Sometimes I don’t cultivate those relationships like I should. Sometimes I stick to my circle too much to cultivate other relationships. I want to open my reach of people I care for. I want to step outside my comfort zone. This is also going to mean forgiving some people and really embracing a way to care for them.

Myself: I need to start caring for myself. My health, my desires, my spiritual growth. With all these people to take care of 🙂 I’m going to need a stronger relationship with the Healer, Comforter and Price of Peace. I cannot expect to go into this alone. I will fail, miserably.

For 2011, I want to CARE. I pray that God gives me everything I need to care for and care about everyone and everything He places in my path. A caring person is nurturing, attentive, protective, loving, accommodating, friendly,
affectionate and tenderhearted. I hope I can make a solid effort at being that person.

Do the Math!

I am not a math geek. I hate math. I was good enough at it
to make good grades in school, but I hate math. More than the
dentist-and I hate the dentist. More than riding in the back seat
of a 15 passenger bus-and I really hate that. More than anything. I
don’t use hate lightly either. Math and I are not friends.
However, I appreciate math. I appreciate it’s balance. It doesn’t
leave a lot of room for error. It’s factual and real. That I can
appreciate. My small group is doing a mini-video study of Beth
Moore’s “Measureless Love” series. I loved the truth in what
she shared. There were some serious points that I haven’t stopped
thinking about all day. I also love apologetics and proving my God
is who He says He is. She said something during her talk that was
really thought provoking. “It takes more faith to believe in
evolution than in creation.” So I got on google to do a little
research for myself. Statistically speaking, evolution is bogus.
Don’t believe me? Look around for yourself. You don’t even have to
read the Bible to find that out. Maybe you are a skeptic. You
don’t believe there is a God, you don’t believe in Jesus, you don’t
believe the Bible. Ok… stay with me. Let’s think about the
size of the universe. The farthest place our technology has found
and photographed in the entire universe is something like 150
million-millions of light years away. There are like 800 billion
galaxies in the universe. So here is the one in 800 billion
galaxies-the milky way galaxy-with one planet in that galaxy that
sustains life. IF God created the heavens and the earth….He
placed earth precisely where it is, in precisely the right way as
to sustain life. Within these 800 billion galaxies, earth in
located in the ONLY location to support life. IF you believe
in evolution, HOW could all of this be coincidence? The precise
place with the precise climate located the right distance from the
right sun to provide the perfect climate. Then come on down to
earth. The atmosphere, gases, and ozone. The water and land. What
about humans themselves. Think about how many intricate systems
compose our bodies to make them function….. my brain is going to
explode! Seriously, my brain can’t handle the “bigness” of God and
smallness of us. Probably goes back to me and math not being
friends. I’m going to break it down to my level. Have you
seen or read “Horton Hears a Who?” I think of Horton’s speck. There
is Horton in the huge world and he finds this teeny “speck” that
falls on a flower. The “speck” is home to an entire world of Whos.
This size ratio I can handle. The Whos have no knowledge that
they are even a speck in this huge world, but when their speck is
taken out of it’s perfect spot in the universe, things start to
become chaotic. This is starting to get profound. Needless to say,
you can learn a lot from Dr. Seuss! In the talk, Beth Moore gives a
lot of other mathmatical statistics concerning the size and
capacity of God to create the Heavens and Earth. It’s fascinating.
Our God is so detailed. He knows the numbers of stars in the sky
and the number of hairs on our heads. This same God knew you and me
before we were born. He knows why we are here on this “speck.” I am
looking forward to the next two sessions of these “Measureless
Love” DVDs. I love when my faith makes sense. It wouldn’t
have to make sense for me to believe, but I love when God reveals
such amazing concepts of Himself. I don’t want to steal Beth
Moore’s entire talk on “Measureless Love.” I encourage you to get
your hands on these DVD’s. I’ll try to post more next week about
how our meticulous and precise God says we cannot begin to measure
His love for us!

As if the holidays weren’t stressful enough

Who says lightening doesn’t strike the same place twice?
How about three times! If I believed in luck, I’d be trying
to pick up pennies face up lately. A few weeks before Thanksgiving,
a Wednesday, my husband left the house around 6:00 to go eat dinner
with some guy friends. He had been gone fifteen minutes or so when
he called. “I got in a wreck.” “A WHAT?” “A wreck.” Yeah, I heard
you, but what? Strike One. Let me set the scene for you. There is a
blinking red light/caution light intersection down the road leading
to our neighborhood. My husband was on the main road/caution light
side. The bozo that was waiting at the blinking red light decided
to pull into the lane my husband was traveling moments before my
husband got to the intersection. Moments, as in, not enough for my
husband to stop or completely avoid the bozo. The bozo tells the
officer, who arrived 45 minutes later, that he did not see my
husband approaching. Again, it’s 6:00, dark, and there are
headlights coming at you. If you cannot see bright lights at night,
please do not drive. Anyway, my husband’s truck was not drivable so
we had to get it towed home. The next day, the truck was towed to a
body shop. So, $4700 worth of damage….. it was going to be a few
weeks before we got that car back. We were taking the rental
everywhere rather than beating up our car driving around holiday
shopping after thanksgiving. One Saturday we decided to take our
car to the store and not move the car seat over. It was going to be
a quick trip. We were leaving a shopping center when moron #2
backed out of her parking spot into our car. Strike Two. We were
waiting to pull onto the main drive in the parking lot, about the
third car in line. So this lady backs out of her parking space on
the left side– right into our driver’s door. My husband honked,
but she apparently didn’t plan to stop until she heard metal
crunch. All I could see from the passenger side was a car coming at
my husband. To make matters worse, she was driving a RX8. A little
sports car. She had PLENTY of room to back out…. if she could
drive. So there we are in a busy parking lot with another wrecked
car, this time with our kiddo. My husband tells the lady he’s going
to call the police to file a report and she tells him she’s in a
hurry, she has somewhere to be. A HURRY? Glad she didn’t say that
to me. I might have lost it. If she had not been in a hurry, we
would all be moving along with our day. The cops came pretty quick
this time. Lucky for her. I would hate that she missed the fire she
was headed to. That was Saturday. The insurance company set me up
to meet an adjuster on Wednesday. We, me and the kiddo, go to
the appointment. All the while, I’m chasing the kid because he
won’t sit still. The damage? The entire drivers door needs to
be replaced and lots of paint. We left to meet my husband for
lunch. I was going to get him the paperwork (since he’s the expert
now) and let him handle the insurance companies and setting up the
bodyshop…. where his truck is still residing. We ate lunch and my
husband went back to work. Then, I picked up my sister who is home
from college for the holidays. We were going to run a few errands.
We were sitting at a fairly busy stoplight. I was the second car at
the stoplight. We got rear-ended. Strike Three. You may be laughing
right now. You may think this is a joke. It’s not. We were in the
straight/right turn lane… at a red light. The lane next to us was
the left turn lane. The left turn lane got the green light. Ours
was still red. Repeat: ours was still red. I was the second car at
the light. The first car pulled into the intersection. The left
turn lane across the intersection also had a green light. So here
they are sitting in the middle of an intersection. I took my foot
off the brake for a second, then put it back on. I was thinking,
this bozo is going to need to back up and get his spot back. But,
no, they went through the intersection. Meanwhile, the car two cars
behind me decided to also go. Bam, bam, bam. Now we have an
accident. I blame the guy that ran the red light, but the lady that
hit us said she wasn’t really feeling well and her reaction time
was slow. She goes to our church, I believe her. You should have
seen her car though…. ouch. I have a civic with a crunched
drivers door, but my bumper only had a tiny bump. The SUV behind me
had damage front and back, but not too bad. The lady that caused
the wreck… again, ouch. She had a SUV also. No joke, she
had to pick up her bumper, well the pieces her front bumper was in,
and throw in her trunk just to drive away. Not to mention, it was
smoking and either lost its power steering fluid or had a serious
axle banged up. We all pulled off the road. Again, waiting for the
cops. I called my husband. I was pretty confident that my husband
was going to lose it at the point. I looked at my sister and
laughed. This was really happening to me. There had to be a black
cloud above us…. somewhere. I finally got in touch with my
husband. “We just got rear-ended.” “WHAT?” “Yes, I’m not kidding
and we are fine.” Friday, I went back to the same place to see the
adjuster. Everyone we told about this told us to stay off the road,
including the adjuster. Seriously. Who gets in three accidents,
that aren’t your fault, within weeks of each other? We do. Bingo!
We got my husband’s truck back before Christmas. We had to wait
until the Monday after Christmas to take my car. We should get it
back tomorrow. We are hoping the black cloud stayed in 2010.
Actually, we are praying that black cloud away. If anyone ever
tells you lightening doesn’t strike the same place more than
once… go ahead, call them a liar. Everyone…. Have a SAFE
and blessed new year.